Shawna Montpellier's story
Shawna was the recipient of The 2004 Co-operators Learner Achievement Award. Congratulations Shawna!
I'm extremely grateful for the Learning Difficulties Center. First, all the people there have helped me get tutoring. Secondly, because of tutoring, I have improved greatly in my ability to read, write and understand. Finally, I now feel more confident and self-assured.
Growing up not knowing that I had a learning disability made my life perplexing. People would tell me I could achieve whatever I wanted to. "Just don't be so lazy," they would say. Sometimes I would hear things like, "Boy, is she stupid!" I grew up to believe those hurtful words, which lowered my self esteem. Before I came to the centre, my self-esteem was so low, I used to hide things I read because I was too embarassed to tell people I could not read well. Now I am not afraid to ask for help.
When I went to apply for employment insurance one day, my world took a turn for the better. Mike Davidson asked me what sort of work I was interested in. Thinking I was stupid, I began to cry and told him I did not know. That is when I first admitted that I could not read or write very well. He then sent me to Ms. M. Hawkins who tested me for dyslexia and other learning disabilities. I was in my late twenties at the time when I was tested.
I then attended college to work on my Adult Basic Education. I struggled all the way through it. I hated school because I found it difficult and did not know I needed help. I thought I was just slow, stupid and lazy. After all, that is what I had been told all my life. Ms. Hawkins then sent me to Jackie Bates, who was my first tutor. Jackie worked with me, helping me with my schooling and introduced me to a whole new world. She gave me a spelling dictionary, which I still use to this day. I could feel my self-esteem growing and I felt more self-assured. That was, until she gave me the bad news. She was moving! Feeling like I had lost my saviour, I drew more inward again. Feeling like my dream was lost again, I became bitterer inside. It wasn't until I was in my late thirties, which I once again went back to school after my psychotherapist, Robert, talked me into it. I shared with my counsellor how hard I found it, so he suggested that I phone the dyslexic center and see if they could help me. So the next day I made the call and spoke to Donna, the receptionist at the Learning Difficulty Center. She told me how much it would cost for me to get tutoring. The cost was more than I could afford. Feeling rather discouraged, I told Donna that I was unable to afford the tutoring and began to cry. Donna seemed very sympathetic and told me I might get funding. So I faced my fears and came to the center and did a placement test and applied for funding. I was over-ecstatic to hear I was approved.
Irene, my tutor, has taught me that learning can be fun, and has made me feel I am not alone in this world. Without the funding and the help of a tutor I would not have been able to get the help I require to complete a life-dream of finishing my grade 12 and to be the first in my family to graduate. My tutor has opened a whole new world for me. I know more about grammar that I ever had. She makes learning fun and enjoyable. I never knew how to sound out a lot of words, nor did I know that so many words could have different sounds and meanings. I enjoy learning now and look forward to becoming perhaps a great writer someday. I am so grateful for the dyslexic society and for all the people that have been a positive influence in my life and have helped make me feel more positive.
I thank you for taking the time to read my letter and I hope that you will continue to help support people in my situation. I cannot say enought about how grateful I am to all the people who have helped me along the way. I thank each and every one of them. If it wasn't for these people and people like them or for places like the Learning Difficulty Center, I may not be where I am today - back in school and feeling like I can achieve whatever life's challenges may bring.